The Finding Peace Podcast

The Shadows of Shame are Lousy Cheerleaders

Shame is often what drives us to change our behavior.  It's like a kick in the pants that shoves us out of our comfort zone. And initially, it seems like it is a great motivator for change, but is it sustaining?
In this episode, we explore whether or not Shame is really that great of a cheerleader.  
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going to:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242 https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUg https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
And as always, you can pick up your copy of a Year of Self-Love by going here: https://amzn.to/2njvXc9
 
 
Referenced in this podcast are the following articles:
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57a40c19414fb54f51f8095f/t/57db82fc37c581429570a889/1474003709483/Lickel+et+al.pdf
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2155472/The-way-Im-going-Im-going-live-longer-Why-TVs-650lb-Virgin--lost-400lbs-love--morbidly-obese-more.html

How to Survive During Covid 19 Without Going Crazy

This special episode of the Finding Peace Podcast reviews some of the tips outlined by Dr. Feliciano. 
Dr Eileen M Feliciano is a doctoral-level Psychologist in New York State with a Psy.D. in the specialties of School and Clinical Psychology. After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, Dr Feliciano decided to consolidate her advice.  You can read her advice at the link below:
https://energyresourcing.com/blog/mental-health-wellness-covid-19/
 
If you haven't gotten your copy of A Year of Self-Love, you can grab an e-book version here: https://amzn.to/2lCfOxZ
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by clicking: 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast 

Just Because You Didn't Win Doesn't Mean You are Not Enough!

Most of us are now staying home to avoid spreading the virus, many of us are resorting to the television to watch endless hours of entertainment programming.   And I, like millions of Americans seem to still be drawn to the competition shows.  Whether it is on the competitor’s ability to lose more pounds than the others, the whim of a panel of judges, or the voting of viewers on their smartphones – every week another contestant is eliminated until there is one winner
Particularly I have been watching American Idol.  “There can only be one American Idol” is a phrase I hear repeatedly on the show.  There can only be one winner.  That is how it goes in competitions.  There can only be one gold medalist, one winner of the state basketball tournament, one student of the month. I get it.  It’s how the game works.  I hate it.
But it really stirred something up inside of me when I was watching this year's season of American Idol and the contestant Doug Kiker was shown into the audition room where Lionel Richie, Katie Perry, and Luke Bryan sat waiting to hear what Doug was going to sing. 
Doug works as a garbage man missing one of his front teeth.  He had no experience singing except for in the shower. He actually tried out for American Idol in August 2019 and didn’t make the cut before trying out again in front of the judges in Baton Rouge.  You can watch his audition here:
https://youtu.be/LfeXu26peJU
What stood out to me more than anything was the comment Lionel Ritchie made as he put his arm around Doug’s shoulder – “He is trying to show his daughter that he is somebody.”
With tears running down my cheeks, I blurted out, “He is somebody already!  He doesn’t have to prove that to anyone!”
 
As Rumi says, “You are more valuable than both Heaven and Earth.”  Just you being you is enough.
I want you to say it out loud – I am worthy of love and belonging.  When my shadows tell me otherwise, it is important for me to remember more than ever that I am loved. That I belong…
It is my hope that you can do the same, even if you are not selected as the employee of the month, don’t win on American Idol, or that you weren’t selected for the position you dreamed about – You are enough. And who knows, but if you can tap into that truth, your willingness to believe that may open doors you never imagined.
 
Please send me your questions for the podcast at troy@troyllove.com
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

How to Stay Connected During a Time of Social Isolation.

 
How  many emails have you received from banks, stores, insurance companies, etc. telling you how they are managing the current COVID 19 situation?
They are probably using words like…
Crisis….
Pandemic...
Critical...
Emergency...
Shortages…
Toilet paper...
 So stressful!  There is so much information being thrown around. It can be confusing.  One of the biggest messages that is proclaimed is social distancing. Ironically, research shows that isolation actually makes us a higher risk of susceptibility to infection, heart disease, stroke, even death.
In this podcast, I explore ways in which we can stay connected during this challenging time. I reference a study mentioned in Christian and Annmarie’s book,  Integrating the New Science of Love and a Spirituality of Peace.
I’d love to hear from you! What are you doing to stay connected to others? What has been hardest for you during this time?  What have you done to help yourself feel assurance that things are going to work out?
 
Listen to this and other episodes by going to:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
 

The Consequences of Perfectionism

Thomas Curran from the University of Bath and Andrew Hill from York St. John University completed a meta-analysis on perfectionism. You can read their report here.   What they discovered is that there is a high correlation between perfectionism and the following issues: 
Depression, anxiety disorders,  eating disorders, anorexia, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues, chronic migraines, and an increase in suicide rates.
But a lot of people think that demanding perfection from themselves and others is a powerful motivator for achieving outcomes. Well, the research didn't back that up. Instead, it makes us perform less well and we wallow in shame as a result.  
In this episode, I break down the difference between striving for excellence (which can be positive) and trying to be perfect.  
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast at any of the links below:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242 https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUg https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
 
Have you heard about the Finding Peace Retreat?  
The Finding Peace Retreat is a 4-day, intensive, experiential training based on the Amazon Best-Selling Book, Finding Peace. The weekend creates a place of healing for individuals with past wounds of loss, rejection, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, and abuse who are looking for greater joy, happier relationships, and deeper fulfillment in their lives. You can learn more about it by clicking here. Spots are filling up fast and the retreat will not be offered again in 2020.
 
May you find peace always,
 
Troy
 

Let it Go

Have you struggled with moving forward from past experiences when others have triggered your attachment wounds? In this podcast, we talk about how to let painful things from the past go.  We explore the concepts of transference and projection that can keep us from seeing the truth of the situation.  
 
 
You can listen to this and other episodes by going to 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
 

How to Help Someone Who is Feeling Suicidal

In this episode, I have the pleasure of interviewing Christopher Lee, a member of the Yuma Community Suicide Prevention Coalition.  He shares the importance of asking direct questions about suicide to someone who may be experiencing deep sadness, a recent loss, or going through a difficult time.
Here is a list of Warning Signs of Suicide:
Talking about wanting to die
Looking for a way to kill oneself
Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
Feeling like being a burden to others
Increasing the use of drugs or alcohol
Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless,
Changes in sleep patterns
Withdrawing or isolating
Showing rage or talking about revenge
Extreme mood swings
Christopher shared the QPR model:
Question the person about suicide
Persuade the person to get help
Refer the person for help
During our interview, the following resources were shared:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
or TEXT "Hello" to 741741
 
Yuma Community Suicide Prevention Coalition:
Facebook.com/YCSPC
Yuma Crisis Line: 1-866-495-6735
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, there is hope and there is help.  Use one of the resources above to get help!
 
 
You can listen to this or other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going to any of the following links: 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

A Valentine's Day Self-Compassion Activity

In this episode, I share a simple exercise that Peter Levine developed to help people heal from trauma.  You can watch the video that I refer to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdUnCj05RMs
The exercise that I share in this podcast is found in Peter's book, Healing Trauma. 
And of course, you can purchase your own copy of  Year of Self-Love here. 
You can listen to this and other episodes by going to any of the following links:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242 https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUg https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast 

Understanding Dailies

In this episode, I explore the concept of dailies and how they are connected to self-compassion.  The categories for Dailies are: Physical, Social, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual.  The episode provides examples for each category as well as providing an easy way to track progress.
 
You can check out this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

The Five Stages of Change

In this episode, we explore the Five Stages of Change: Precontemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintainance, and Termination.  There are always things about ourselves that we want to improve, but sometimes we don't take action. We explore which stage of change you might be in and also discuss a tool to help leverage your willingness to take the next step. 
 
If you would like to learn more about the Finding Peace Retreat, where we help you develop a plan for lasting change, check out: https://www.findingpeaceacademy.com/finding-peace-retreat
And if you haven't picked up your copy of a Year of Self-Love, you can do so by going here: http://bit.ly/Yearofselflove 
 
To listen to any of the other episodes of the Finding Peace podcast, click on any of the links below.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast