The Finding Peace Podcast

How Martial Arts Helped David Find Peace

In this episode, I have the privilege of interviewing up my very own self-defense instructor, David Perez. David shares what led him to find peace in the world of martial arts and how his experiences have led him to now have the opportunity to bless other people and tapping into their own inner power and challenging their mindset.

Understanding the Pendulum

As a child, whenever I would visit the Science Museum, I would love to watch the pendulum swinging back and forth. In this episode, we explore how the shadows of shame do a similar swing along the various spectrums. This episode helps you have a better understanding of the motivations of each of the shadows. I also give you another perspective based on Jungian psychology that was exemplified in the book, King, Magician, Warrior, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglass Gillette that explores the parts of ourselves that can help us shine powerful light on the shadows.
 
At the end of the podcast, The Finding Peace Online Weekend Workshop is mentioned. Here, we will take a deeper dive into the Finding Peace Model and give you some tools to connect with your inner power while connecting with your truth.  You can learn more about the workshop here: https://www.findingpeaceacademy.com/onlineweekendworkshop
 
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The Hero's Journey

In this episode, I have the privilege of interviewing Lee Atwood, a Registered Provisional Psychologist practicing in Alberta, Canada. He has done research in sex and porn addiction and his areas of specialization, including addiction, are couples and parenting issues, depression, and anxiety.  He also LOVE'S talking about the hero's journey, a concept developed by Joseph Campbell and used in some of the most famous stories in history.
 
In this podcast, I referenced Matthew Dicks, an amazing storyteller in his own right. You can find out more about him here.
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast here:
https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

Walls or Fences - A Boundaries Metaphor

It is 5 am in the morning, I am operating on maybe 51/2 hours of sleep. I am supposed to meet my personal trainer today. And I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be able to be on time that I tossed and turned throughout the entire night because I thought, if I don't wake up, I'm going to sleep through my first session with my personal trainer and that is not going to send a good message.
And now I'm standing in the gym with my trainer, and I am so tired. I'm looking around at this gym. It's a fairly small gym, there is a rack of weights. There's a medicine ball, there's a treadmill and a bunch of other things that I'm fairly familiar with, because I've been going to the gym for several years by myself.
I have decided that I needed to do something more intense for me because, unfortunately, as the years continue to go by, I continue to put more and more weight on my body, which I know physically is not healthy for me. And I want to be able to stick around for awhile and spend time with the people that I love the most. And so I've decided to hire this guy to see if he can help me take better care of my body. And I've asked him, in particular, if he can help me holistically, not just working particular muscles, but I want to be able to work more holistically mind, body, and spirit.  I chose him because he is a jujitsu instructor in addition to being a personal trainer, and he told me that his master, who taught him about jujitsu, believed in that holistic part of healing the mind, body, and soul. So I felt that this was going to be a really good experience for me.
He's showing me around the gym, give me a little bit of a tour of his place. He has just moved in a couple of months ago. And he's really excited about this new building, He's telling me about the history of the building and as he's talking, I ended up stepping on to the mat where he teaches jujitsu.  He says to me, "Hey, you got to get off of that. That is sacred ground."
And when he said that, I immediately stepped off of the mat. I didn't want to be disrespectful. But what struck me more was how immediately he reacted in a way that said, Hey, dude, this is sacred space, and no one is allowed to be on the sacred space until they're instructed to do So because sacred work, beautiful work happens on these mats. And so there's formality to it. And that made me really think about a question that a buddy of mine had asked me just three days earlier. And this is the questionof the podcast.
Can you help me understand the difference between walls and fences?  
Listen to the answer on this podcast and deepen your understanding of what makes boundaries more effective.
 
If you want help connecting to your deepest value, click here to check out the Finding Peace Workbook.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

Avoid Burpees and Connect Instead

There is a lot of controversy and contempt taking place around the world. We have a challenging time even being willing to consider listening to another person's point of view. In the process, we lose a sense of peace and security and instead become more defensive.  In this episode of the Finding Peace Podcast, the listener will be asked to consider how being willing to emphatically listen may actually deepen relationships (and indeed create change). 
Troy also teaches the listener about BRPEs - the four behaviors that will drive disconnection in a relationship.
You can get a copy of the Year of Self-Love, which Troy reads from during the podcast here.
You can listen to this and other podcasts by going to any of the links below:
 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

The Shadows of Shame are Lousy Cheerleaders

Shame is often what drives us to change our behavior.  It's like a kick in the pants that shoves us out of our comfort zone. And initially, it seems like it is a great motivator for change, but is it sustaining?
In this episode, we explore whether or not Shame is really that great of a cheerleader.  
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going to:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242 https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUg https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
And as always, you can pick up your copy of a Year of Self-Love by going here: https://amzn.to/2njvXc9
 
 
Referenced in this podcast are the following articles:
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/57a40c19414fb54f51f8095f/t/57db82fc37c581429570a889/1474003709483/Lickel+et+al.pdf
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2155472/The-way-Im-going-Im-going-live-longer-Why-TVs-650lb-Virgin--lost-400lbs-love--morbidly-obese-more.html

How to Survive During Covid 19 Without Going Crazy

This special episode of the Finding Peace Podcast reviews some of the tips outlined by Dr. Feliciano. 
Dr Eileen M Feliciano is a doctoral-level Psychologist in New York State with a Psy.D. in the specialties of School and Clinical Psychology. After having thirty-one sessions this week with patients where the singular focus was COVID-19 and how to cope, Dr Feliciano decided to consolidate her advice.  You can read her advice at the link below:
https://energyresourcing.com/blog/mental-health-wellness-covid-19/
 
If you haven't gotten your copy of A Year of Self-Love, you can grab an e-book version here: https://amzn.to/2lCfOxZ
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by clicking: 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast 

Just Because You Didn't Win Doesn't Mean You are Not Enough!

Most of us are now staying home to avoid spreading the virus, many of us are resorting to the television to watch endless hours of entertainment programming.   And I, like millions of Americans seem to still be drawn to the competition shows.  Whether it is on the competitor’s ability to lose more pounds than the others, the whim of a panel of judges, or the voting of viewers on their smartphones – every week another contestant is eliminated until there is one winner
Particularly I have been watching American Idol.  “There can only be one American Idol” is a phrase I hear repeatedly on the show.  There can only be one winner.  That is how it goes in competitions.  There can only be one gold medalist, one winner of the state basketball tournament, one student of the month. I get it.  It’s how the game works.  I hate it.
But it really stirred something up inside of me when I was watching this year's season of American Idol and the contestant Doug Kiker was shown into the audition room where Lionel Richie, Katie Perry, and Luke Bryan sat waiting to hear what Doug was going to sing. 
Doug works as a garbage man missing one of his front teeth.  He had no experience singing except for in the shower. He actually tried out for American Idol in August 2019 and didn’t make the cut before trying out again in front of the judges in Baton Rouge.  You can watch his audition here:
https://youtu.be/LfeXu26peJU
What stood out to me more than anything was the comment Lionel Ritchie made as he put his arm around Doug’s shoulder – “He is trying to show his daughter that he is somebody.”
With tears running down my cheeks, I blurted out, “He is somebody already!  He doesn’t have to prove that to anyone!”
 
As Rumi says, “You are more valuable than both Heaven and Earth.”  Just you being you is enough.
I want you to say it out loud – I am worthy of love and belonging.  When my shadows tell me otherwise, it is important for me to remember more than ever that I am loved. That I belong…
It is my hope that you can do the same, even if you are not selected as the employee of the month, don’t win on American Idol, or that you weren’t selected for the position you dreamed about – You are enough. And who knows, but if you can tap into that truth, your willingness to believe that may open doors you never imagined.
 
Please send me your questions for the podcast at troy@troyllove.com
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast by going here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast

How to Stay Connected During a Time of Social Isolation.

 
How  many emails have you received from banks, stores, insurance companies, etc. telling you how they are managing the current COVID 19 situation?
They are probably using words like…
Crisis….
Pandemic...
Critical...
Emergency...
Shortages…
Toilet paper...
 So stressful!  There is so much information being thrown around. It can be confusing.  One of the biggest messages that is proclaimed is social distancing. Ironically, research shows that isolation actually makes us a higher risk of susceptibility to infection, heart disease, stroke, even death.
In this podcast, I explore ways in which we can stay connected during this challenging time. I reference a study mentioned in Christian and Annmarie’s book,  Integrating the New Science of Love and a Spirituality of Peace.
I’d love to hear from you! What are you doing to stay connected to others? What has been hardest for you during this time?  What have you done to help yourself feel assurance that things are going to work out?
 
Listen to this and other episodes by going to:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUghttps://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
 

The Consequences of Perfectionism

Thomas Curran from the University of Bath and Andrew Hill from York St. John University completed a meta-analysis on perfectionism. You can read their report here.   What they discovered is that there is a high correlation between perfectionism and the following issues: 
Depression, anxiety disorders,  eating disorders, anorexia, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues, chronic migraines, and an increase in suicide rates.
But a lot of people think that demanding perfection from themselves and others is a powerful motivator for achieving outcomes. Well, the research didn't back that up. Instead, it makes us perform less well and we wallow in shame as a result.  
In this episode, I break down the difference between striving for excellence (which can be positive) and trying to be perfect.  
 
You can listen to this and other episodes of the Finding Peace Podcast at any of the links below:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472700242 https://open.spotify.com/show/0p6DK6fPPjHH0z911oCuUg https://www.troyllove.com/thefindingpeacepodcast
 
Have you heard about the Finding Peace Retreat?  
The Finding Peace Retreat is a 4-day, intensive, experiential training based on the Amazon Best-Selling Book, Finding Peace. The weekend creates a place of healing for individuals with past wounds of loss, rejection, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, and abuse who are looking for greater joy, happier relationships, and deeper fulfillment in their lives. You can learn more about it by clicking here. Spots are filling up fast and the retreat will not be offered again in 2020.
 
May you find peace always,
 
Troy