The issue that Sher would like to find more peace and joy about revolves around her daughter's constant requests for financial assistance. Whenever she receives a text or call from her daughter, it triggers anxiety, fear, dread, and sadness because it usually means her daughter needs money. This situation has created a lack of peace for Sher for a long time because it reminds her of her childhood experiences of poverty, neglect, and abuse.
Sher's daughter's addiction and her requests for money bring up deep-seated wounds from her past, including feelings of abandonment, neglect, and not being good enough. She sees parallels between her daughter's behavior and her own experiences growing up, leading to betrayal, loss, and abuse. Sher also shared that her daughter had gone missing for several years while battling addiction, which added to her emotional turmoil.
Seeing her daughter's name on her phone triggers these painful emotions, and the core belief that gets activated for Sher is that she is not good enough. This belief stems from her childhood experiences of feeling unloved and unwanted, as she was adopted at a young age without anyone fighting to keep her.
The emotions that Sher experiences in response to her daughter's messages are primarily sadness and fear. She used to provide her daughter with financial support to ease her discomfort, but she realized she was doing it to soothe her emotions rather than address the underlying issues. Now, she's trying to establish boundaries and have conversations before providing financial assistance, but it remains challenging.
Sher's struggle with her daughter's situation also leads to shadows of shame, including feelings of rebellion, self-criticism, and powerlessness. The presence of grandchildren in the equation makes the situation even more complex and emotionally challenging for her.
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